Thursday, January 27, 2011

The Hoop Journey: Before and After

This first video is a short snippet of me trying out a few things when I first started hooping. It seems like a million years ago, but was really only about 3 or 4. That big green hoop was one of the first I had ever helped to make and I still have it today.

This second is from earlier in the week. My goal here was not to perform a bunch of tricks or show off all i could do - it was really just to be in the moment, listen to to the music and move as I was feeling (and as my very, very small hoop space would allow - you’ll hear me crash into something more than once.)

Watching these two videos I am struck by so much. One, everyone starts somewhere! Don’t worry about being clunky or silly! Two, I am so much more at ease with myself now. I am not afraid of the camera - and pretty much forget about it - and my clothing, movement and expression all reflect much more confidence at the outset.

That doesn’t mean it’s not scary. Sharing something about which you care deeply is a very difficult thing. In the first video, any rockiness or mistakes I look at as sweet, and with some nostalgia. In the second video, the mistakes SCREAM out to me, making my face burn with embarrassment that someone else might see me making a mistake.


Then I start to think about that scene in Back to the Future, when Michael J. Fox is chatting with his future father in the school cafeteria. George McFly is an avid Sci-Fi author, but never lets anyone read his work because “what if they don’t like it. i just don't think I could handle that type of rejection.” Of course, in the beginning of the movie we see George has lived a life ruled by fear. The alternate ‘happy ending’ has him having shown his work, fear and all, and ending up a successful author. 

Who wouldn't want to read that?

If you haven’t seen the movie, or don’t know what I am talking about (really? TBS shows it ALL the time, come on now) the take home message is that it is very hard to put something of yourself out there, but you have to stand up to fear or you will never get the opportunities for which you are waiting.

You can’t wait for it to be easy, or for the time to feel right - just move forward and go for it! Maybe in another 4 years I will look back on this and chuckle at where I was today - but, for now, I am glad that I feel good enough to try, to put myself out there and embrace the opportunities that are created when you stop worrying about what anyone else thinks.

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